Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Too Far from the Madding Crowd

"Would you like some more coffee, Chris?"
I offered my cup. "Yes, thanks, Marge."
Irv held out his cup. "Me too, honey." Then he said to me, "Yeah, it was embarrassing at the time, but I sure got the 'Colbert bump' ... sales are at an all time high."
I took a sip of coffee. "This is delicious, Marge." 
"Why, thank you." She smiled and retreated to kitchen.
I set the cup down on the table. "How the heck did you get on Colbert's show in the first place, Irv?"
"My publicist arranged it ... the guy is a wonder."
"You have a publicist?"
"When I started getting those speaking engagements, I figured I needed some help."
"I was meaning to ask you that ... how did you get those speaking engagements?"
"I just sent out a lot of letters to mechanics and builders organizations ... you know, people who would be interested in tools." He took a sip of his coffee. "This is good."
I nodded. "It sure is."
"So, what have you done to identify your audience?"
"My audience?"
"Yeah, people who would be interested in reading your books."
I scratched my head. "I don't know. I've never thought about it."
"You've never thought about your audience?"
"No. I just write what I like ... and hope there is someone out there who might like it, too."
"You're Uncle is right ... you are naive."
"He said that?"
Irv smiled. "We were talking about something else. Look, why don't you do some research and come up with a demographic of the kind of people who would like your stuff."
"Demographic? I wouldn't have any idea how to go about that."
"Root around on Amazon ... see who reads the kind of books you write."
"I'm not sure I could find any books like that."
Irv shook his head. "You mean to say that you think your books are so unique that there is nothing else like them?"
"No, I don't mean that ... I just have never spent any time looking for 'em."
"Well, it's time that you do."
After another cup of coffee and some talk about the Tigers acquiring Prince Fielder, it was time to go. As I walked down the street toward my house, I saw Alma Beeler's Cadillac drive by, and I could've sworn I saw Uncle Billy hunched down in the passenger seat.


  1. Alex: I sure hope you're right ... but you can't tell by me so far.

  2. Oh, that Uncle Billy. Irv should write about him.

  3. Helen: He probably would ... if wasn't making so much money writing about screwdrivers.