Pump up the Volume

 An audio version of this post can be found at:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yBC78gxylbE&feature=youtu.be

 "Isn't that Spike Jones and his City Slickers?" I asked over the satirical strains of Cocktails for Two.
   Uncle Billy put the plate he was drying in the cupboard. "You need to ask?"
   I looked at the ipod nano docking station on his kitchen counter. "Did you get your 78's digitized?"
   He shut the cupboard door and draped the dish towel over the oven handle. "Hell no ... I just downloaded his Greatest Hits disc from Amazon."
   I nodded vacantly. "Of course ... what else?"
   "Why would I spend the money, time and effort to digitize some scratchy old 78 records when I can get a clean digital download of the Master's best stuff?"
   "Amazing isn't it?" I listen to the song for few seconds. "Is there anything they don't have?"
   "Nope ... I've just downloaded Doctor Demento's Twentieth Anniversary Collection ... wanna hear it?"
   "I'd love to ... but we've got to go ... my car is in the shop and Cheryl needs hers back by five."
   Billy shrugged, "Your loss." He reached over to shut off the docking station just as Hawaiian War Chant was starting.
   I picked up Billy's coat from the back of the chair and held it out for him. "You know Amazon has a new audio book outlet called Audible dot com?"
   Billy took the coat from me. "What's that?"
   "It's a site that you can get pre-recorded books."
   He slipped on the coat. "You mean like the audio books I get from the library?"
   I followed Billy out the of the door. "Exactly ... only these are downloadable ... just like your Spike Jones music."
   He locked the door and looked up at me. "No kidding? I wonder if I could download Mad Magazine's Bathroom Companion?"
   "I don't know ... but I know you can get Headwind." I smiled slyly.
   "Your book? Why would I want that?"
   I sighed as we walked down the hallway. "I just mentioned it because Headwind has been professionally narrated and is now available on Audible dot com."
   "Professionally narrated. By who?"
   "Whom." I corrected. "Elliot Walsh of Spoken Arts."
   "Never heard of him."
   "He's a pro ... did a great job."
   "Well, I'll have to take your word for it."