Tuesday, May 17, 2011

5 Reasons for this Reading this Post

So, I'm surfing the great north shore break of the blogoshere, blissfully shooting the links on my keyboard, enjoying the spray of ads in my face, when it hits me! Lists! They're everywhere.  Of course, I see them all the time on the covers of magazines when I'm standing in line at the grocery checkout: 10 Methods to Sew Coconuts together, 8 Ways to Financial Insanity, 12 Reasons Hemorrhoid Suffers Prefer to Stand ... but I've never noticed how prevalent they were in blogs. I probably would have noticed this sooner if I was prone to notice things ... but, as my wife will tell you, I'm not ... so when this phenomenon finally registered, I realized, ah ha, what a great way to attract an audience. Why? Who knows ... there must be some deep-seated psychological reason why we love lists ... but that's big-brain stuff ... not my milieu. All I know is that we love 'em. I mean, Dave Letterman practically built a career on his famous Top Ten list. Well, it's never too late to climb on the bandwagon, so here's my list for why you are here:

1. You've spent all morning (writing/avoiding writing/snorkeling) and you needed a break
2. You Googled 'lists' and this popped up
3. Your pet (cat/dog/orangutang/bandicoot) walked across your keyboard and here you are
4. You were doing research for an article on the Oil War of 1872, started idly clicking links, and wound up weaving past coconut stitching, around financial advice, and through hemorrhoid ads only to end up here
5. You won a bet that you could find the lamest post on the Internet

If you read this far, I'm either a marketing genius or you have way too much time on your hands. I'd prefer to believe the former.


  1. You are a genius Christopher. Not only did I read the post, I will be back. I want to see your listing for "12 Reasons Hemorrhoid Suffers Prefer to Stand." I could only think of one.

  2. With reference to the condition twice, I can only surmise you may be experiencing some vascular distress in the nether regions.

  3. Helen ... thanks! Lists are grabbers ... why didn't I think of this before?

    dwgibb ... hmmmm vasular, nether region? Remember, marketing chops aside, you're dealing with a little brain here.

  4. Where is that Hemorrhoid list? You're just teasing me, aren't you, Christopher.

  5. Helen, ya got me ... I exaggerated a tad for humor's sake ... I really only know of 10 reasons.

  6. I see your dilemma. Sit on it awhile and two more will come to you.