A Wee Dram

 

 

   Spike Jones' "Cocktails for Two" was audible a full fifty feet from Uncle Billy's door. The volume increased steadily until it crescendoed upon opening the door. Billy sat in his recliner, reading a newspaper and completely oblivious of my entrance. 

    "Uncle," I said.

    No response.

    "Uncle," I yelled.

    He lowered the newspaper and peered at me. "Well, look who the cat dragged in," he shouted.

    I indicated my trouble hearing, so he leaned over and turned down the volume on his sound system. "Well?"

    "Well what?" 

    "What are doing here?"

    "I just stopped by to see how you're doing."

    "How am I doing? You're checking up on me?"

     "No ... I just haven't seen you since you got back from Vegas ...  I wondered what's going on."

    "I'm doing just fine, nephew."

     I frowned at the pile of dirty dishes in the sink. "Must be busy."

     Billy caught my disapproving glance at his housekeeping. "Yeah, as a matter of fact."

    "You haven't been to Manny's in while."

    "I've got what I need ... besides, if I need a ride these days, I call Uber."

    "Why pay for a ride when I can take you for free?"

    "Because the Uber driver doesn't criticize my purchases."

    I shook my head. "Uncle, I don't judge you ... you can buy whatever you want."

    "Who criticized by buying a bottle of Glen Livet." 

    "You can buy all the alcohol you want ... I just thought pay fifty dollars for a bottle of scotch was a bit exorbitant."

    "I can afford it ... stock market has been good to me lately."

    "I was just saying ..."

    "Okay, you did."

    I shrugged. "Well, we haven't chatted in while, Uncle ... thought we might catch up."

    Billy looked at his watch. "I've actually got an appointment this afternoon."

    "Do you need a ride?"

    "No, Mike is stopping by here."

    "Burczyk?"

    "As a matter of fact."

    "You're still doing business with him?"

    "I need some place to put all this income ... besides scotch."