Tuesday, July 23, 2013


For an audio version of this post, click on this link:

   "That's your phone," said Cheryl.
   "Your phone is ringing," she said.
   The ring tone finally reached my consciousness. It was Uncle Billy. "Oh ... jeez ... what the heck does he want?"
   I rose up on an elbow and glanced at the clock. It read four-fifty AM. I reached out to the night stand and fumbled around until I found the phone.
   "What's up, Uncle?" I said, barely concealing my irritation.
   "I need you to come and get me."
   I sat up and swung my feet over the edge of the bed. "Why? What's the matter?"
   Cheryl sat up. "Is he okay?"
   "The cable is out over here," said Billy.
   I waved to Cheryl to lay back down. "What?"
   "The cable is out ... I can't watch the TV."
   "Uncle, it's four o'clock on the morning ... why are you even up?"
   "It's almost five ... the Open has been on for an hour."
   "What are you talking about?"
   "The British Open ... it's been on ESPN since four."
   "So what?"
   "So, I need you to come and get me so I can watch it
at your house."
   "Have you called the cable company?"
   "Of course I have."
   "They thanked me for reporting the outage ... when can you get here?"
   "I'm not coming to get you at five in the morning so you can watch the British Open ... just go back to bed and your cable will probably be back on when you get up."
   "I'm not going back to bed ... I've been up since three ... I've had four cups of coffee already."
   "What were you doing up at three?"
   "Waiting for the Open to start ... waddaya think?"
   "Do you have to watch every minute of coverage?"
   "Of course I do ... I wait for this all year."
   "I know you do ... but you're going to have miss some of it this year ... I'm not coming to get you so you can watch golf over here."
   "Who gave you that high-def TV for Christmas last year?"
   "Come on, Uncle ... that's not fair ..."
   "I'm just saying ... " he paused. "Oh, never mind, the cable is back on."
   "The TV is back on ... I don't need you."
   "Oh, for crying out loud ..."
   "Don't forget ... today is the day I go to Manny's."
   "I'll see you this afternoon." I snapped the phone shut.

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