Tuesday, January 8, 2013

Look What Dragged in the Cat

An audio version of this post can be found at:

   Hank pulled into the driveway behind the Jag. Cheryl came into the garage from the house and gave me a hug.
   "I'm glad to see you made it safe and sound," she said.
   "Me too," said Uncle Billy. "It was touch and go."
   Cheryl looked at me. "Really? Was it dangerous?"
   I smiled. "It wasn't dangerous ... but it was ... um ... an adventure."
   Hank got out of my car and walked up. "Man, I didn't think it was legal to go that slow on 696 ... oh, hi, Cheryl."
   "So, you had to bring up the rear, eh, Hank?" asked Cheryl.
   "I've been sucking fumes from that beast all the way from Minneapolis."
   Cheryl looked at the ancient vehicle, the hot engine clicking and popping as it began to cool. "So, this is it?"
   I nodded. "It needs a little work, but it's a classic."
   "A little work?" said Billy. "The bumpers need to be jacked up and a new car installed in between."
   "I can tell you're a little disappointed with your inheritance," said Cheryl.
   Billy sneered. "I had no idea that Bernie was clever enough to play such an elaborate practical joke on me."
   "Bill's just upset because it wasn't the pristine show car he was dreaming about," said Hank.
   "Really, Uncle, you should be grateful that you have a classic to work on," I added. "You'll be thanking Bernie when we get this fixed up."
   "We?" said Billy. "Who's the we in this equation?"
   "Me and you," I answered. "And maybe Hank and Eb when we need a little help."
   Hank backed away slightly. "Oh, no ... not me ... I'm not getting involved in a project like this."
   "See?" said Billy. "No sane person would try to make this sow's ear into a silk purse."
   "Come on, Uncle ... it'll be fun."
   Cheryl kept her gaze on the paint chipped, rusting hulk. "What I want to know is where is this restoration going to take place?"
   "Here of course," I said.
   "Oh, no you don't ... you're not going to deprive me of a garage for the next four of five years."
   "First of all, it won't take four or five years ... one year max ... and second, you can keep your car in here ... I'll park mine outside and we'll keep our work area confined to just this side."
   Cheryl laughed. "You're going restore this rolling junk pile in one year?"
   "See what a smart woman you married?" said Billy, "She's a good judge of automobiles."


  1. Who gets to keep it when it's restored though?

  2. Alex: More like 'if' rather than 'when' ... but, Uncle Billy doesn't drive ... so I guess it'd end up in my garage.